I really need someone right now. I just went through the most embarrassing moment of my life. It’s not the usual stupid funny embarrassing i mean i am scared for life embarrassing. We were having a debate in my sociology class and my group nominated me to speak. And i told them so many times that i don’t want to do it and they made me because no one else was volunteering. So i went up right wen i got up there my stomach was turning, i felt like barfing, i was sweating like it’s 40 degrees out, i was shaking and i could not think straight. I was so scared and so nervous. I said one line and i just stared at the class. I couldn’t do it i just couldn’t. I just went back to my seat and another girl from my group went up. I feel so stupid. I let my group down and most importantly myself. I couldn’t bare staying till the end of class. I felt like I was no in a safe place. And now I finally came to the conclusion of why i didn’t like the atmosphere of that class. IT WAS NOT A SAFE SPACE. I never felt fully confident in that class. My weakness of the English language got in the way. Everyone in class uses such strong, intellectual language i felt inferior. I always felt little because i couldn’t get my points/views across because of language. Today i truly felt racialized. Today i truly felt dumb. Today i truly felt ashamed. Today I truly realize how important a safe space is.
I just really need the GGs right now.
Posted by Sabs
